of course. lets lasso hookers.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
