lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
