my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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