question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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