Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
