you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
