Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
