Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
