Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
this just has baby written all over it
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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