What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
only if we run a train.
done.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
