Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
