32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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