she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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