I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
