Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
