I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I love you.
Bad choice
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