She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
