Jerry, you need to find god
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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