Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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