What tipped you off? The sombrero?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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