Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
