batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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