and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
