I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
