i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize