...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
as a side note pls kill me
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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