Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
