The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
