well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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