No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
