I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
