I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
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Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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