I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
