someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
