fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
