We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
