you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
