I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
