He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
