You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
