The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I pour the whiskey from now on
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
