were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
