I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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