No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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