A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
