i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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