It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
