Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
