guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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