i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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