whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
