So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
