I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
