All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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