my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
