I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
