Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
