All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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